Meam Commemorationem
by Anasatsia98
Summary: "The most precious light is the one that visits you in your darkest hour!" ― Mehmet Murat ildan He didn't believe that there was any source of hope in Briarcliff, only evil. But then, he met her and everything seemed to light up, and hope filled him once more.
1. Welcome to Briarcliff

Her mother had always said the most mystifying part of her was her eyes. The most _beautiful_ part of her.

They way they drew people towards her… drew them to confess their sins to a pretty girl with eyes that seemed to enrapture anyone who stared into them. Her mother had said that it was her eyes that made her father's church so successful. With the way her innocent smile lured the victims into their house and her gentle eyes allowed people to open up, allowed them to feel safe.

It always made her laugh. Her mother always called it her father's house, but shouldn't it have been their father's house? For it was the home of God and therefore her father had no ownership over it.

Her beautiful green eyes stared blankly at Shelley, not giving any sort of clue to what emotion she might've been feeling. She had learned rather quickly that allowing Sister Jude to see any sort of emotion was what led to her mindless games. She blinked indifferently as the soft buzz from the clippers seemed to soften even more as they slowly cut off Shelley's golden hair and she watched as pile after pile fell onto Shelley's shoulder, sometimes piling up and then dropping to the floor beneath her.

The action reminded her of the tale _Rumpelstiltskin_. He himself would've most likely craved Shelley's hair. The locks often straighter than a board and looking like the finest gold one could ever find.

It truly was a shame that she was locked in here.

"The lady reporter's here." Sister Mary Eunice said as she threw the doors to Sister Jude's office open, and Rosemary watched Sister Jude quickly cover up the shaved part of Shelley's head and turn off the clippers. Panic was evident in her eyes for she knew, they all knew, what would happen to Briarcliff if word got out.

"Told you I would come find you, Sister Mary Eunice," Sister Jude scolded lightly. Light enough that the reporter _Lana Winters_ wouldn't notice, but enough so that Mary Eunice and her would. Rosemary watched as Sister Jude quickly, and maybe nervously, brushed Shelley's hair so that it would cover the cropped part. "Brush yourself off, Shelley."

"Do you think I'm full of shame and regret for what I've done now, Sister?" Shelley said, lunging up from the chair she was once sitting in. Rosemary could see the fire burning in her eyes and debated if she should step in or no, before deciding with the later. Sister Jude deserved to be shouted at once and a while, "You could shave me bald as a cue ball, and I'll still be the hottest tamale in this joint."

The sharp movement from Sister Jude not only caused Shelley to jerk back but from her peripheral vision, she watched Sister Mary Eunice flinch too. It was then that Rosemary decided that it was time to step in, watching the fire burn as bright as Hell in Sister Jude's eyes and her movements become harsh and unforgiving as she wrapped the cord around the razor.

"Take her to the common room so the others can witness her newfound immaculacy," Sister Jude commanded Rosemary, to which she gave a sharp nod and gently grabbed Shelley by the arm to lead her out, before turning her attention to Sister Mary Eunice, "And next time, knock."

As Rosemary directed Shelley out of the room and towards Sister Jude's 'staircase to heaven', she pulled Shelley to the side of the floor, brushing her hair away from the new style and smiling softly at her.

"This cut's ought to attract some people, am I right, Shells?" Rosemary gently teased and Shelley smiled at her, allowing Rosemary to see the hurt that was buried underneath the fire in her eyes.

Rosemary gave Shelley a tight nod before following her down the staircase, ignoring the nuns and doctors who rushed passed her and to the door. Rosemary wasn't allowed to be part of the welcoming staff for Bloody Face. Her place at Briarcliff was not one that Sister Jude found important. Rosemary's father was the reverend of a high church, one that helped supply food, money, and medicine to Briarcliff. But, her father was never one to help a place without knowing the inner workings, and, although she was clad in the same clothing as Sister Mary Eunice, Rosemary was not a nun.

So, while waiting for other nuns to return after the arrival of Bloody Face, she stayed in the common room and watched the patients. Her pale eyes skimmed the room quickly and thoroughly, making sure that nobody was acting too absurd or crazy, as _Dominique_ rang through the air incessantly.

Barely an hour passed before Bloody Face entered the room. Rosemary tilted her head with interest as he looked around the room, his face open to read. He was clad only in the simple hospital gown and Rosemary was sure that it was to shame him and make him feel vulnerable in his new 'home'.

"His name's Kit, Kit Walker." Sister Mary Eunice alerted her, entering the room and taking her spot next to Rosemary. The two had become good friends over their time here. Rosemary was only a few years younger than Sister Mary Eunice, and it seemed as though Sister Mary Eunice enjoyed having someone younger than her to take care of… well, someone who wasn't insane.

"Huh," Rosemary nodded, internally laughing at how the name 'Kit' meant hope and he was anything but hope if he truly was Bloody Face, "Such a shame he's attractive,"

"Rosie," Sister Mary Eunice gasped, shocked that her friend would speak so lightly about a man who murdered so many people. Rosemary only shrugged at Sister Mary Eunice's shock and continued to look around the room, allowing her eyes to linger on Kit whenever she passed him.

He was attractive. His hair a soft brown that reminded her of the melted chocolate she used to dip pretzels in—the ones she gave to the children leaving church on Christmas. His eyes were also brown but were so incredibly dark that, at first, Rosemary thought they were black. Devil's eyes, that's what her mother would've called them with a tone filled with disgust.

Rosemary watched with cautious eyes, as Shelley made her way over to Kit, eying him like he was her prey. Again, Rosemary stayed by the door and continued to observe. Briarcliff was tough, and if Kit was going to stay here a while, he was going to need to learn how to fend for himself and Shelley was the easiest person to start with. However, it was only when Grace made a move that the red flags went up.

Rosemary didn't trust Grace. She didn't fall for her 'I'm not crazy' and 'please, you need to help me'. While Grace did act and look normal, there were times that Rosemary saw the darkness burning behind her eyes and how they seemed to light up with excitement when she was tasked with cutting the bread… how the ability to hold a knife seemed to give her so much joy.

"Hey, Bloody Face, you're him, right?" One of the patients in the room, Tom, asked, and Rosemary was already aware of what was about to happen. The patient had been sent in for random outbursts of anger and he tended to have the need to instigate a fight, "You must be the most dangerous man here. I heard you skinned them alive. The last one, a colored girl. I guess you didn't like her color."

The shove came quicker than Rosemary expected and by the time had pushed her way through the crowd, who was changing 'fight', Kit was on the floor with bloody lips and swollen eyes. Harshly, Rosemary yanked Tom off of Kit and Tom, not realizing who had grabbed him, pushed Rosemary away. Rosemary cried out as her back smashed into the record player and the music stuttered. Kit, however, used this to his advantage and climbed on top of Tom before striking him over, and over, and over again.

"Stop!" Rosemary commanded, stumbling to her feet and, this time, trying to push Kit off of Tom. While Tom's punishment would be harsh, Kit's would be worse because Sister Jude would have the need to break him.

Kit paid her order no heed, but Rosemary noticed that he angled his body differently now. Instead of pulling his arm straight back to punch, he had twisted his shoulders so that he was missing her as he pulled back. The thought was fleeting for not a second later, Sister Jude's shrill dog whistle was reverberating through the cramped room and everyone rushed out of the room or to the walls of the room. Everyone except her and Kit that is.

Rosemary slowly stood up, keeping her hands on the shoulders of a writhing Kit, and faced Sister Jude. She knew that she would only get a slight scolding, but she feared for Kit. The restrainers that stood behind Sister Jude were well-known for their harsh grabs and Rosemary thought some of them to be sadists after certain incidents that occurred. Incidents that she was not allowed to speak of.

"Sister Jude, it—" Rosemary hurriedly closed her mouth as Sister Jude held up her hand, slowly making her way towards them. The slow clacks of her shoes echoed around the silent room, in an almost painful and anxiety-inducing way.

"He started it," Kit said, childishly pointing at Tom, and Rosemary was squeezed his shoulder tightly, ignoring his wince of pain. He looked back at her, however, as if noticing her presence for the first time. Rosemary didn't smile or show any emotion to him but watched as a thick stream a blood flowed from his nose and dripped incessantly on his hospital shift.

Sister Jude didn't respond to Kit's accusations. Instead, she walked over to the record player and put it back on before turning back around and looking at the Alfred and William, the two restrainers. No words needed to be spoken since this was a repetitive scenario. Rosemary took four steps back, enough room to get out of the way but still close enough to make sure they didn't do anything too extreme, as Alfred and William walked towards Kits. William swung the baton in his hand and Rosemary only blinked when Kit looked back at her, fear written across his face.

She wanted to stop them. She hated what they did to misbehaving patients… it wasn't right. But Rosemary had no control of the situation because they only ever responded to Sister Jude.

"No." Kit cried as Alfred grabbed him by the arm, "No!"

Rosemary could feel Sister Jude's eyes on her as William cracked the baton against Kit's forehead. She knew what Sister Jude wanted her to do, she knew that Sister Jude wanted a reaction. If Sister Jude saw one ounce of fear or hesitation in Rosemary's eyes, she wouldn't hesitate to send her back home with a letter saying that Rosemary was too inexperienced and unprepared to continue. A letter that she knew her father would refuse because she had been at this asylum for over a year now.

~8~

"You really outdid yourself, didn't you?" Rosemary stated, slamming the door to Kit's room shut and placing the tray of slop on the ground next to him. He jerked away with a cry that almost sounded like a name… _Alma_. Rosemary lightly shook her head, riding herself of the though, and unclipped the belts to the straight jacket Kit was wearing, "You should be lucky they didn't put you in a chair or have Alfred serve you dinner."

Kit didn't respond to Rosemary's words or actions. He sat there, staring blankly at the wall behind her and it chilled Rosemary to see such a void of nothingness in a young man's eyes.

"Well," Rosemary said, both of her hands gripping the jacket in front of her as she tried to stay calm and collected, "I'll be the primary person taking care of you. You can call me Rosemary."

Kit said nothing but turned his attention to her. When a few minutes past and he still didn't respond, she took that as her cue to leave. It was only when there was the softest mumble of 'thank you' that Rosemary hesitated to leave.

"Of course," She whispered back, sliding the door closed and locking it, pretending that the screams and yells of the other patients didn't bother her.


	2. please read

Hey guys,

I know that I'm not supposed to make chapters that are just about author's notes and I'm so sorry if this is a story that hasn't been updated in a while and you're expecting a new chapter, but I really need to get this off my chest because it's been bothering me for the past few months.

When I created Anasatsia98, I didn't expect to have this outcome and I don't think you guys understand how thankful I am for you all. You've all changed my writing style and who I currently am as a person.

But recently, I don't like who Ana's become, and it's not your guys' fault at all, it really is mine. I feel as though I no longer write with the passion that I'm supposed to and when I write, I write for the reviews... and I really don't like that. While reviews are loved and adored (and to those who have reviewed, **thank you so much** ), I should be writing for the sake of what I love and what I'm passionate about. And I honestly just feel shitty because I don't think I've been doing that and I feel that some of my older work is very half-assed. I have begun to loathe who Anasatsia is so much that I even created a new account in which I've started to write new stories under.

So, i guess the overall point of this is that I'm going to try and be a better Ana for all you guys. And for my older work, I **_will_** be rewriting all of it. So please don't expect new updates, but please expect better writing. This, of course, will take time because I have no impulse control when it comes to creating stories and I have so many, but each week, one or more stories will be updated with better content... the content that you all deserve.

And please don't think this is a pity cry because it really is not. This is just me explaining to you what's been going on the past few months (or years even, depending on the story).

Thank you so much for reading this, and I will only keep this up for a day or two.

But, I just want to apologize again because this isn't who i expected to turn out to be and this isn't who I want to be, as a writer and as a person.

Thank you and I love you all so much,

Ana :)


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